Aight for real this time...

I don't know what's up with me and these damn sabbaticals that I call myself going on. LOL!! I will start up a really nice blog and then I will just quit it and go do something else. Is there such a thing as blogging ADD?

Anyway, I am pissed because I deleted my last blog entry by mistake because I was so busy trying to edit a damn misspelled word. Great job Ape!

Well let me see if I can sum of my last journal entry and speak of today's issue.

LAST ENTRY:
I met someone whom I've grown really close to. She seems damn near heaven sent and she thinks the same of me. We have a lot in common. She's very accomplished, driven, has a sense of humor, a bit of a sports fanatic, witty, in my age range (THANK GOD BECAUSE I SWORE THAT IF I HAD TO GO MORE THAN 3 YEARS BELOW MY AGE RANGE I WOULD OF JUST SWALLOWED THE STUFF UNDER THE SINK!!). Okay, I know that's a bit strange but that's a downside to being in a college town. Not that I had any problems with it that were huge. Well maybe they were kinda big because I felt like I was either knowingly lowering my standard or just dealing with issues that I know that I am "too old" to deal with. At now 26 years old, that's the last thing that I will ever expect to deal with. However, I must admit that K was an exception. So what do we call this woman right here? Maybe N?

*goes back to previous posts to see if there was a N*

Aight, there's no N... Good...

Now speaking of previous posts I think that it's about time that I clear up or tie up all the lose ends. Okay so here goes.

A...I cut A off after a bad argument. We didn't speak for the rest of the summer. She grew bitter and felt the void in her life cause by the departure of me and her man's lack of affection with ongoing partying and a "hard" demeanor. We later became cool again, but we are nowhere near what we use to be as friends. At first, I wanted to "get that old thing" back, but that doesn't seem like a good idea.

K...After she and her ex-man/ bestfriend got back together I decided to finally put a nail in the coffin and bury the little bit of hope that I had for us. If it's meant to be then it will happen. Until then, I'm just going to keep myself at a bit of a distance while trying to stay close because I see her doing the same thing to me due to the acquisition of "new friends" and "hobbies". It's cool though. I won't complain. I will just continue to move forward. Does a little bit of feelings remain for her? Yes it does. A very small smidgen but that's it. Will it stop me from moving forward with other women? No. I'm moving forward as we speak because I can't sit around and wait on someone to come around. I will not be "waiting for your mind like next week's grocery" (that's a little Lucille Clifton for y'all). If we happen then let it happen naturally. Only God knows the answer to that.

AJ and S... Never heard from them and closed the chapter, removed the book from the shelf, and gave it away to Goodwill. It's funny.. Looking at her picture was humbling, but now it does nothing. How do I know, well I was looking at AJ's picture since N wanted to see who my ex was and I showed her. I honestly thought that I threw them all away but maybe I knew that I didn't. Maybe I knew that in the back of my mind I was afraid to look at her face because I will be "humbled" again and my tone will change and be instantly picked up on. Not this time though Ape. In fact, this time I was happy to show it and answer any question. As for S... She hates me so much for not choosing to stay with her. I don't know what she's doing with her life and I don't even really care.

Oh yeah, I did pick up an AH but she has a kid and a baby daddy that I just wasn't really feeling at all. We were cool enough to talk and we still talk from time to time, but it won't ever go there (at least right now) because I have somebody... Yeah I have somebody.

*smiles at the thought for a moment*

Anyway she's nowhere near the level... I am ashamed to admit that I was killing time with her through conversation.

NOW A QUICK PRESENT ENTRY:

Yes Ape is involved and enjoying the hell out of it. I felt like I've finally met my equal and we can communicate. She's hella attractive, intelligent, cultured, well-rounded, sensitive, considerate, affectionate, and she can keep my attention! It does help a bit that she's Greek because she understands a part of my grind. Furthermore she's a bit older than me and I have always had a thing for older women. I'm good. In fact, I'm sitting very very nice.

Anyway, let me say that I'm content although me and my education are fighting like Sugar Shane Mosley v. Oscar De La Hoya. Life is good. EGO APE signing out!